Abusive and Traumatic Incident Blame Myths that Disadvantage Survivors and Reinforce Spiritual Diversion
In the journey of healing from traumatic experiences, it's crucial to debunk common myths that can hinder the process. One such myth is the notion that victims should "get out of the victim mindset." This sentiment, while well-intentioned, is actually a form of victim-shaming that invalidates the experiences of those who have endured chronic emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual assault, and other forms of trauma.
Research suggests that healthily processing anger and honoring it can be beneficial for the healing journey. Righteous, empowering anger can act as a useful tool for self-protection and setting boundaries. It's important to remember that repressing emotions for the sake of seeming mature, spiritually enlightened, or morally superior is not healthy. Processing trauma with a trained professional before sending love and positivity is more beneficial.
Prioritizing self-love, kindness, positivity, and compassion is essential. This includes exiting toxic relationships that no longer serve one's highest good. Honoring one's true emotions is sacred and a form of spirituality. No one should police or shame a person for feeling what they feel during their healing journey.
Forcing premature forgiveness can hinder the healing process. Hollow forgiveness, forced by mental health professionals, loved ones, or perpetrators, is neither genuine nor helpful for the victim. The belief that abusers are "karmic" soulmates meant to teach essential life lessons is a dangerous misconception that can lead to self-blame, repression of emotions, and avoidance of accountability for abusers.
Verbal ventilation, or expressing one's anger to a safe person, can help process childhood traumas, soften the Inner Critic, establish intimacy with others, and reduce the impact of emotional flashbacks. On the other hand, spiritual bypassing, the use of spirituality to avoid dealing with unresolved emotional issues and negative feelings, can be harmful to mental health.
It's important to note that research indicates that victim-blaming and victim-shaming statements have detrimental effects on victims, affecting their willingness to disclose their pain and leading to further self-blame and uncertainty. The belief that abusers just need love, understanding, and more hugs dismisses the reality of manipulative individuals who never change their ways and further exploit victims.
In conclusion, it's essential to debunk these harmful myths and prioritize self-care, self-love, and professional help in the healing journey. You owe it to yourself to live your best life without the presence of toxic people. Remember, you are not a victim, but a survivor, and it's your divine right to be treated with respect and kindness.
