Family dynamics leading to personal triggers and suggested coping strategies
In the bustling city of Kansas City, therapist Britt Frank offers guidance for those struggling to cope with emotional triggers during the holiday season. According to Frank, families have a unique ability to trigger their members, as they are often the source of our deepest emotional responses.
To manage these triggers, Frank suggests starting and ending with self-compassion. Honour yourself and refocus on your needs, for it is essential to prioritise your well-being during this challenging time.
One of Frank's primary interventions is self-observation and adjusting self-talk. Be aware of your thoughts and feelings, and replace negative self-talk with affirmations such as "I have choices," "I'm a capable adult," "This is a difficult time, and I'm doing the best I can," or "I can do this."
Frank also recommends actively observing when one is starting to regress as a coping mechanism. Regression, according to Frank, refers to returning to a less developed state, where individuals may behave like children, such as storming out, feeling small, or throwing tantrums.
When faced with potentially triggering situations, Frank advises taking frequent breaks as needed for self-care. Limit social media use to avoid feeling worse, and don't engage in hostility; you are not obligated to justify yourself.
If a family member's behaviour triggers you, consider having an honest conversation with them on a different day. You might need to express your disapproval of comments or leave the room. Remember, you have the power to decide what supports and serves you.
Frank provides additional tips for navigating or preventing potentially triggering situations during the holidays, although specific tips are not mentioned in this article. Additional resources for setting boundaries and dealing with difficult people are available.
Lastly, Frank recommends being willing to disappoint people and managing your resentment levels. It's okay to put yourself first, even if it means setting boundaries that may disappoint others.
As we approach the holiday season, remember to take care of yourself, prioritise your needs, and seek help if needed. With self-compassion, self-awareness, and a willingness to put ourselves first, we can navigate the holiday season with grace and resilience.
