Intimate Partnerships with Flexible Boundaries: Meaning, Advantages, Disadvantages
Open relationships, also known as consensual non-monogamy (CNM), are an alternative to traditional monogamous relationships that are gaining more acceptance in modern society. These relationships fall under the ethically non-monogamous (ENM) umbrella, where multiple partners are agreed upon and allowed.
According to a 2020 longitudinal study, people can be just as happy in open relationships as they are in monogamous ones. Contrary to popular belief, there's no clear evidence to suggest that open relationships fail more than monogamous ones. The key to their success lies in clear communication, boundaries, and trust.
An open relationship is a mutual agreement to allow sexual encounters with others while maintaining a primary partnership. This arrangement sets it apart from infidelity or cheating, as it is based on honesty and mutual consent.
Clear, honest communication is the backbone of a successful open relationship. Tips for discussing an open relationship with your partner include coming to the conversation knowing what you want and why, picking a safe, relaxed, and comfortable place, being transparent about your intentions, approaching the conversation without judgment, remaining calm, being prepared to outline your boundaries, being clear about the relationship structure you're seeking, and listening and being empathetic.
It's important to note that both people in an open relationship must be satisfied with the relationship structure. If your partner says no, you may have to do some soul searching to determine how you want your future sex life and/or love life to look and begin having tough conversations.
Open relationships can offer greater sexual satisfaction, a fundamentally strong level of communication, an expanded social network and connections, and an enhanced sense of newness or adventure in the relationship. They may also present potential challenges such as feelings of relationship anxiety or fear, jealousy, risk of sexually transmitted infections or disease, time management/partner commitment challenges, increased expenses for other partners, and coping with secondary partners who decide they want more out of the relationship.
Sophia Turner, a relationship and sex therapist from Chicago, Illinois, suggests that if you are excited by the concept of multiple sexual partners, curious about exploring different relationship dynamics, want to be challenged to communicate openly, have enough time to dedicate to various relationships, feel equipped to navigate jealousy, an open relationship might be for you.
What sets an open relationship apart from polyamory is the relationship hierarchy. In an open relationship, your primary partner has the majority share of your emotions and commitment, while in polyamory, you may develop the same deep level of emotional and physical intimacy with multiple people.
Interestingly, consensual non-monogamy is more common than most people realize, with approximately 1 out of every 5 single adults in the United States having participated in a CNM relationship at some point in their lives.
Ethnically non-monogamous relationships, as they are known in some cultures, have become increasingly popular since the 20th century, parallel to the social development of open views on love and partnership, and the emancipation movement.
Nicolle Dirksen, a sex and couples' therapist from Owatonna, Minnesota, explains that some people choose open relationships because they are attracted to multiple genders and feel more fulfilled when they can explore relationships with genders different from their current partner.
In conclusion, open relationships, like any relationship, require effort, honesty, and understanding. They can be as successful as monogamous ones, provided both parties are willing to communicate openly, set boundaries, and trust each other. As with any significant life decision, it's essential to consider all factors before making a commitment.
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