Mourning a Maternal Loss: Strategies for Daughters to Overcome
Losing a mother is undoubtedly a profound and life-altering experience. In the aftermath of such a loss, it's natural to seek ways to honour the memory of a loved one and find a sense of personal accomplishment. This can be achieved through charitable donations, personal achievements, or setting and achieving goals that resonate with the mother's values.
Research has shown that women, particularly daughters, may experience a more intense grief response and find it harder to adjust to the loss of a parent. A 2015 study, for instance, highlighted that daughters may face unique forms of grief, including cultural and tradition losses, and a lack of maternal guidance.
During this challenging time, focusing on happy memories can provide comfort. This could mean cherishing pictures, books, or keepsakes that remind you of your mother. Mindfulness, the ability to focus on the moment, can also help manage painful memories related to your mother's loss.
If extreme grief persists for more than a year or interferes with daily tasks, it may be helpful to seek the support of a mental health professional. The American Psychological Association's Psychologist Locator can help find a professional specialising in grief recovery.
The loss of a mother can mean losing an important part of your support system and feeling the loss of family traditions and cultural knowledge. Keeping up with traditions from your mother or starting new ones can help ease the burden of loss.
Studies conducted by Nancy Chodorow between 1980 and 1983 at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in the United States found that the loss of a mother can have more negative effects on daughters compared to sons. Daughters may experience a decline in self-esteem, binge drinking, and a compromised sense of self in young adults.
It's important to remember that grief can lead to a range of normal emotions, including regret, remorse, anxiety, guilt, emptiness, rage, anger, sadness, and numbness. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.) acknowledges these emotions in the year following parental loss.
Grief has been linked to increased chances of cancer, cardiac issues, immune disorders, and high blood pressure. Strained relationships with siblings and other parental figures may also occur due to the loss of a mother.
In times of immediate need, resources such as the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, Crisis Text Line, and Befrienders Worldwide are available. Local support groups, online chat forums, and mental health professionals can also provide assistance during the grieving process.
Offering maternal support to others who have experienced parental loss can be a meaningful part of their grief journey. Books like "Healing After the Loss of Your Mother: A Grief & Comfort Manual", "Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss", and "How to Survive the Loss of a Parent: A Guide for Adults" may offer support during the grieving process.
In conclusion, navigating the grieving process after the loss of a mother is a unique and personal journey. It's crucial to seek help when needed, lean on loved ones, and find solace in cherished memories and traditions.
