Navigating Relationship Dynamics: Strategies for Conflict Resolution
In relationships, conflict avoidance can often lead to decreased satisfaction. This behaviour, also known as complaint avoidance, is when a person avoids discussing issues with their partner to avoid confrontation or an argument.
The origin of conflict avoidance typically lies in unspoken or unreceived communication. Conflicts arise not from what is said but from what does not reach or resonate with the partner, leading to misunderstandings and emotional distance. Negative emotions like fear or anger, fears of not meeting each other's expectations, and anxiety around expressing emotions and feelings contribute to this avoidance.
Common fears associated with conflict in relationships include fear of getting into a screaming match or being yelled at by the partner, fear of being dismissed, misunderstood, or rejected, and fear of experiencing gaslighting. For some, there's also a fear of nothing changing in the relationship.
A 2011 research study found that high conflict avoidance in a relationship will likely cause relationship dissatisfaction for women, but not necessarily for men. However, a 2021 study revealed that people were more conflict avoidant during the COVID-19 pandemic, which led to lower levels of satisfaction in relationships.
For more minor problems or instances when both couples aren't able to change, confrontation involving affection and validation has shown to be most effective for resolving conflict. On the other hand, direct confrontation for severe problems is most beneficial for couples in relationships where both partners are able to change.
In such cases, seeking professional help can be beneficial. Seeing a mental health counselor or a couples counselor for support in developing healthier communication skills and addressing conflict can help improve relationships.
It's essential to remember that conflict avoidance can lead to a larger confrontation down the road. Concern for all unresolved problems coming to the surface in the relationship should encourage couples to address issues as they arise, rather than letting them fester and grow.
In conclusion, while conflict avoidance may seem like a way to maintain peace in the short term, it can lead to dissatisfaction and emotional distance in the long run. Open dialogue, understanding, and a willingness to address issues are key to maintaining a healthy and satisfying relationship.
