Psychologist Argues that Marriage Doesn't Guarantee Lifelong Devotion, Outlines Two Key Factors

Relationship stability no longer predominantly resides within marriage, according to a scientific study, which sheds light on the reasons behind this shift.

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2025 September 15 . 12:29 PM

2 min read

Marital Union Not Guaranteeing Lifelong Bond: A Perspective by a Psychologist

Psychologist Argues that Marriage Doesn't Guarantee Lifelong Devotion, Outlines Two Key Factors

Modern Couples Redefine Commitment

In today's world, the traditional notion of "being in it for the long haul" is being reimagined, with couples placing equal emphasis on independence, personal growth, and togetherness. A recent study published in the Journal of Family Studies has shed light on this shift, revealing that commitment is no longer exclusively tied to marriage.

The qualitative study, conducted in 2021, interviewed 10 long-term couples who have been together for over 15 years. These couples, comprising same-sex, opposite-sex, married, civil partners, and cohabiting pairs, shared insights on how they show their commitment to each other and why the definition of connection is evolving.

One of the key findings was the importance of sticking together through thick and thin, demonstrating tenacity to work through difficulties. Many couples in the study managed their finances with separate accounts to maintain autonomy, while others combined resources but chose separate accounts for a sense of freedom.

Couples also emphasised the importance of emotional investment, consistent availability, and understanding each other's "love language" as ways to demonstrate their care. A participant explained that a relationship cannot be one-sided and that both partners need to be there for each other during tough times.

The study also highlighted the importance of shared values, ethics, and end goals for a healthy relationship. Sexual exclusivity was a preference for many couples, although not all. Interestingly, only one couple in the study put everything in a joint account, with most prioritising economic independence and proportionate contributions to joint expenses.

Couples in the study also had to adapt to each other's coping styles and draw boundaries with each other to strengthen their relationship. Methods like couples' counselling were used to work through issues. It was clear that commitment is not confined to marriage, as more couples choose nonmarital cohabitation and relationships become increasingly individualized.

The researchers who conducted the study were not identified in the provided search results. However, it was noted that as relationships evolve over time, the definition of commitment may change, but maintaining a shared sense of responsibility and intention can keep couples united for years to come.

Interestingly, even celebrities like Cristiano Ronaldo are reflecting this trend. Despite being with his partner for a long time, Ronaldo waited to get engaged until he felt "the click." This underscores the idea that commitment, while important, is a personal journey that each couple must navigate in their own way.

In conclusion, modern couples are redefining commitment, prioritising independence, shared values, and emotional investment over traditional notions of togetherness. If marriage is desired, it's recommended to discuss it with your partner early on to avoid future misunderstandings. Regardless of the form a relationship takes, maintaining a shared sense of responsibility and intention can keep couples united for years to come.