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Schools Shut Down Entirely for a Week Due to Extreme Snowfall

Breaking News: Jane Connelly, an amateur meteorologist from '27, catches everyone's attention! Please focus on the following announcement. Note that this report may have been misplaced in "The Eggplant" section, although our editors strive to maintain vigilance. Courtesy of Getty Images.

Severe Snowstorm Forces Cancellation of All Classes for the Entire Week
Severe Snowstorm Forces Cancellation of All Classes for the Entire Week

Schools Shut Down Entirely for a Week Due to Extreme Snowfall

In the halls of Holy Cross, the latest news has been making waves. From the controversial Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony to the impending storm, students have been keeping a close eye on the events unfolding around them.

Amateur meteorologist and student journalist, Jane Connelly '27, has been at the forefront of reporting these developments for the college's newspaper, "Eggplant". In a series of articles, Connelly has provided insights into the college's weather department's warnings, the postponement of assignments, and the advice to limit outdoor activities and contact with family members in the Worcester area.

In one of her pieces, Connelly discusses the upcoming storm, predicting extreme temperatures and record-breaking wind speeds. She advises students to lower all shades and blockade windows before the snow begins to fall to protect their eyes from potential damage. The college has echoed this advice, urging students to stay indoors as much as possible.

Another article by Connelly offers a lighter take on the upcoming Thanksgiving break. She encourages students to lower their expectations, reminding them of the comforts of home cooked meals, barefooted showers, and sleep. In a humorous twist, she also shares her experience of finding a rotting banana in her backpack and the idea of casual larceny.

Connelly's articles have not been without controversy. Her piece on the underwhelming Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony has sparked lawsuits, with one unidentified freshman suing due to distress experienced during the event. The college has stated that it will not cover any medical bills resulting from eye damage caused by the storm.

Despite the controversies, Connelly's articles continue to be a source of information and entertainment for students at Holy Cross. Her unique perspective and candid approach have made her a popular figure on campus. The college has even asked students to delete their weather apps as a show of trust in the official weather reports provided by Connelly and the college's weather department.

As the storm approaches and the Christmas season draws near, students at Holy Cross are bracing themselves for what's to come. With Jane Connelly providing regular updates, they can face the challenges ahead with a sense of community and a dash of humour.

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