Self-worth Clarification: Description, Classes, Instances, and Strategies
In life, our self-esteem plays a crucial role in shaping our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. It is a powerful force that can make us resilient and hopeful, or it can lead us to feelings of insecurity, self-doubt, and self-criticism.
The author of the renowned book "Conquering Shame and Codependency", Melody Beattie, sheds light on this important topic. According to Beattie, self-esteem is not just a matter of feeling good about oneself, but it is a fundamental aspect that impacts our ability to navigate life's challenges and disappointments.
Growing up in a dysfunctional family can lead to codependency and weakened self-esteem. Parents in such families may be abusive, controlling, or inconsistent, and may shame their children's feelings and personal traits. This can leave children feeling emotionally abandoned, concluding they are not good enough and internalizing feelings of inferiority or inadequacy.
Shame, a profoundly painful emotion, runs deeper than self-esteem and can lead to impaired or low self-esteem. It causes feelings of false guilt, fear, hopelessness, and irredeemable feelings, and is a major cause of depression. Shame can lead to self-destructive behaviour, eating disorders, addiction, and aggression.
However, it is important to note that self-esteem is generally determined by our teen years, but can be changed and built to become healthy self-esteem. Healing toxic shame requires learning more about it and doing exercises, as outlined in books like "Conquering Shame and Codependency".
Impaired self-esteem negatively impacts our ability to manage adversity and life's disappointments. It hinders our ability to speak up about our wants and needs and share vulnerable feelings, compromising honesty and intimacy in our relationships.
People with healthy self-esteem, on the other hand, credit themselves when things go right and consider external causes when they don't. They are more likely to take risks, try new things, and have intimate relationships.
Journaling has been shown to elevate mood and decrease depression, and can help monitor interactions with others and negative self-talk. It provides a safe space for self-reflection and self-discovery, helping individuals build healthier self-esteem.
In conclusion, understanding self-esteem and conquering shame is a journey towards health and happiness. It requires self-awareness, self-compassion, and the willingness to learn and grow. Books like "Conquering Shame and Codependency" serve as valuable resources for anyone embarking on this journey.
