Unconscious Actions Indicated by Unhappy Partners, Reported by Psychologists: 7 Behaviors

In every relationship, it's essential to maintain open communication, trust, and mutual respect. However, sometimes, subtle signs may indicate that a marriage is in trouble. Here are some red flags to watch out for, based on research and expert insights.

1. Flirting with others or thinking about it frequently could be a sign that your physical and emotional needs are not being met in your current relationship. This behaviour might indicate a longing for connection or attention that is missing within the partnership.

2. Avoiding or putting off responding to each other's texts and calls can be a sign of a deteriorating relationship. If communication becomes sporadic or non-existent, it may indicate a lack of interest or investment in the relationship.

3. Secrets breed suspicion. Discussing any time periods that are "missing in action" with your partner is important. Transparency is crucial in a healthy relationship. Hiding information can lead to mistrust and further damage the bond between partners.

4. In healthy marriages, you think of what's best for you as a collective unit, not just what's in your best interest. A 'we' mentality, rather than a 'me' mentality, helps to foster a sense of unity and mutual support.

5. Researchers John Gottman and Robert Levenson identified seven typical negative behaviours that occur in unhappy couples without their conscious awareness. These behaviours include criticism, defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling, and more. Recognising these patterns can help couples work towards positive change.

6. Infrequency of physical affection like holding hands, leaning heads on shoulders, or brushing up against one another is a sign of a deteriorating relationship. A lack of comfort and intimacy through touch can be a sign that a marriage is in trouble.

7. A lack of conversation about feelings and needs, replaced by discussions about coexistence, is common in deeply unhappy couples. Open communication about emotions and needs is vital for a healthy relationship.

8. An increase in flirting with others, even if it doesn't lead to action, can be a breach of trust and a sign of an at-risk marriage. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and infidelity, even in its earliest stages, can be damaging.

9. If every communication in a marriage is negative or cutting, it's a sign of a deteriorating relationship. Constant negativity can erode the bond between partners and create a toxic environment.

10. Silence in a marriage can be a sign of trouble if it's heavy with unsaid words and feelings. It's important to address issues head-on rather than letting them fester.

11. Overcoming an emotional affair requires hard work that may involve professional help, commitment to the process, and learning new communication skills. Emotional affairs typically signal a crack in the foundation of your relationship and are symptomatic of something else that might be wrong.

12. If you consistently run to a friend, or worse, an ex, to talk about your secrets and stresses, it means the emotional richness and trust that was formerly placed in your partner is going elsewhere. This behaviour can lead to a further erosion of trust and intimacy.

13. Communication in a troubled marriage may consist of bickering or sarcasm. It's important to strive for respectful and constructive communication to maintain a healthy relationship.

14. Having a 'me' mentality instead of a 'we' mentality can be detrimental to the survival of a marriage. A 'we' mentality fosters a sense of unity and mutual support, which is essential for a healthy relationship.

15. Touching each other less frequently than before is a red flag in a marriage. A decrease in physical affection can indicate a lack of emotional connection.

16. If you prefer spending time with friends over your partner, it's a serious red flag in a marriage. It's important to prioritise time with your partner to maintain a strong connection.

17. Deeply unhappy couples may retreat so far from each other that it's impossible to find a way back to one another. If you find yourself drifting apart, it's crucial to address the issues and work towards reconnecting.

18. If you'd rather talk to a co-worker, best friend, or mom about what's going on in your life than your partner, it means the emotional richness and trust that was formerly placed in your partner is going elsewhere. This behaviour can lead to a further erosion of trust and intimacy.

19. When primary communication method consists of texting, it may signal drifting in a relationship. Face-to-face communication is essential for maintaining a strong emotional connection.

20. Emotional affairs typically signal a crack in the foundation of your relationship and are symptomatic of something else that might be wrong. It's important to address the underlying issues to strengthen the relationship.

Unconscious Actions Indicated by Unhappy Partners, Reported by Psychologists: 7 Behaviors