Who Is Manipulatively Misleading Whom?
In recent times, the topic of gaslighting has become a hot topic among mental health professionals and social media sites. This form of psychological and emotional manipulation is used to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or group.
Gaslighting involves telling blatant lies, denying actions or words, even when there is proof to the contrary. It also includes positive reinforcement to confuse the targeted individual, and trivializing their feelings or concerns. Gaslighting aims to break the other person or group down emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually over time.
Two clients in the same therapist's practice have recently experienced gaslighting in their relationships. Mrs. Doe, a single mother, announced during one of her sessions that she had joined a single parent support group following her departure from the family home six months earlier. She claimed her husband had pushed her out after an argument. On the other hand, Mr. Doe, who also sought marital counseling, described his wife as a malignant narcissist, caring only about herself and using the children as pawns to control him.
Gaslighting is often used by abusive and narcissistic people as a way to gain power and control over others. It can be used to feel a sense of control in one's own life by making others dependent. In some cases, gaslighting forever changes the dynamics of a relationship, leading to constant breakdown of self-esteem over time.
Gaslighting makes the targeted individual feel they cannot do anything right, and causes them to second-guess themselves. It insists the targeted individual is the problem, is crazy, or is a liar.
However, therapy for the gaslighted individual can help boost self-esteem, trust their instincts, develop a positive self-image, and eliminate self-doubt. In some cases, when both partners are motivated to work together in conjoint therapy, the relationship can be strengthened and the past forgiven.
It's also important to note that gaslighting requires therapy for both the gaslighter and the individual or group being gaslighted. Growing up in an environment with a gaslighter can make it more likely for children to replicate the behavior in adulthood.
Working with people who gaslight can be challenging, as they often believe they know what is best. Gaslighting attempts to align people against the targeted individual, and it involves saying one thing but doing the opposite. It also involves using personal fears against the targeted individual.
In the case of Mr. and Mrs. Doe, they first received joint therapeutic support when their mutual gaslighting behaviors were recognized as part of severe emotional and behavioral problems requiring intensive treatment. This likely occurred after acute crises persisted and necessitated coordinated intervention to manage destructive interaction patterns, as integrated therapy is recommended only after stabilization efforts in individual control and crisis management.
In conclusion, gaslighting is a serious issue that can have devastating effects on individuals and relationships. It's crucial to seek help if you suspect you or someone you know is a victim of gaslighting, and to educate yourself about this manipulative behavior to protect yourself and others.
